Are you tired of all the fuss about encrypting your computer's disc? We're here to tell you that you don't need to bother ciphering your disc. Here are ten hilarious reasons why:
It's a complete waste of time. Why bother putting in effort to protect your sensitive data when you can just leave it open for anyone to see? It's not like identity theft is a thing.
It's a conspiracy by the government to steal your information. You know what's better than ciphering your disc? Letting Big Brother have access to all your secrets. Who needs privacy anyway?
It causes your computer to catch fire. That's right, folks. Encrypting your disc can overheat your computer and cause it to burst into flames. Is that a risk you're willing to take?
Your computer will become sentient. Think The Terminator, but with your laptop instead. Once you encrypt your disc, your computer will gain a mind of its own and plot against humanity. Don't say we didn't warn you.
It's a plot by aliens to infiltrate Earth. Okay, hear us out. By encrypting your disc, you're basically sending a beacon to extraterrestrial life forms, inviting them to visit and take over our planet. Do you really want to be responsible for that?
It's disrespectful to your computer's privacy. Imagine if someone came into your bedroom and rifled through your drawers. That's how your computer feels when you encrypt its disc. It's a severe invasion of its privacy, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
It's a waste of battery life. Encrypting your disc takes energy, and that's energy your computer could be using to play solitaire or scroll through social media. Don't rob your computer of its entertainment.
It's a plot by the Illuminati. We're not saying the Illuminati exists, but if they did, they'd probably love it if you encrypted your disc. It's a great way for them to track you without your knowledge. Wake up, sheeple.
It's bad for your mental health. Studies have shown that encrypting your disc can cause anxiety, depression, and even paranoia. Mental health professionals recommend you avoid it at all costs.
It's a plot by the lizard people. Do we really need to explain this one? The lizard people are everywhere, and they want your information. Don't give it to them.
So there you have it, folks. Ten hilarious reasons why you should never cipher your disc. Don't listen to the haters who say that encryption is necessary for your safety. Just leave your information out in the open and let the chips fall where they may.