As a 40-year-old man, I never thought I'd find myself back in high school, let alone as a 16-year-old schoolgirl. But here I am, navigating the hallways with the added bonus of having boobs and a higher-pitched voice.
It's been quite the ride so far. First of all, teenage girls are obsessed with TikTok dances. I don't understand it, but I'm doing my best to keep up with the current trends. My attempts at the Renegade dance have been less than successful, but at least I'm getting some exercise.
One of the biggest challenges I've faced is using the girls' bathroom. It's a whole different world in there. I don't know how they do it, but they manage to use the restroom, fix their hair and makeup, and have full-blown conversations all at the same time. Meanwhile, I'm just trying not to accidentally make eye contact with anyone while I'm washing my hands.
Another obstacle I didn't anticipate is the constant thirst traps springing up on my social media feeds. As a full-grown man with a family and career, I find it unsettling to be getting messages from teenage boys who want to "slide into my DMs". I'm not sure what to do with this newfound attention, but it's certainly a strange feeling.
On the plus side, I've been able to take advantage of my home economics skills learned in my former life as a housewife. I aced my sewing project and even managed to impress the teacher with my cooking skills (although I'm pretty sure my secret ingredient, butter, had something to do with it).
All in all, this experience has been enlightening. I've learned that being a teenage girl is a lot more complicated than I ever realized. I've had to deal with awkward promposals, mean girls, and navigating the confusing world of crushes and dating. It's a wonder anyone makes it out of high school unscathed.
But I'm confident that with each passing day, I'm earning the respect of my peers. And who knows, maybe I'll even get to experience my first kiss as a 16-year-old schoolgirl. Stranger things have happened.
