Archaeologists are reeling after carbon-dating confirmed the apocalyptic Norse myth Ragnarök was directly plagiarized from a 2023 AI whitepaper titled "Retrieval Augmented Generation: Optimizing End-of-World Scenarios." Dr. Bjorn "Skeggi" Thorvaldsson, lead researcher at the Oslo Institute of Mythological Plagiarism, held a press conference while dramatically unrolling a sheepskin scroll covered in QR codes. "The linguistic overlap is undeniable," he declared, adjusting his horned helmet headset. "Odin didn't predict the twilight of the gods—he stole the trademark from a Medium blog post. 'RAG' was trending on Valhalla LinkedIn weeks before the first jotunn threw a punch."
Thor’s legendary hammer, Mjolnir, has been retrofitted with a firmware update confirming its original purpose was "context window expansion" rather than skull-crushing. Meanwhile, Loki’s serpent offspring Jörmungandr now appears suspiciously like a poorly trained large language model hallucinating sea monsters. "He keeps generating extra heads mid-battle," sighed a weary Freyja, filing a cosmic DMCA complaint against Midgard’s App Store. "Last Tuesday he regurgitated a Starbucks in Niflheim. Very unprofessional."
The revelation explains why Valkyries now ride Segways instead of winged horses—they were always beta-testing last-mile delivery drones for Valhalla’s "Uber Ragnarök" pilot program. Heimdall’s Gjallarhorn? Just a malfunctioning Alexa shouting "ALEXA, PLAY RAGGA MAJESTY" on loop. "We found Thor’s Slack logs," whispered a tearful researcher. "He kept pinging Odin: 'URGENT: Need more compute for Bifrost. Also, is Fenrir GDPR-compliant?'"
Corporate synergy runs deep: Fafnir’s cursed gold hoard now bears a tiny "Powered by RAG" logo, and Surtr’s fire giants operate on a subscription model ("Flame Tier: $9.99/month, excludes Muspelheim"). Even Yggdrasil, the World Tree, is allegedly just a poorly pruned knowledge graph. "Turns out the Norns weren’t weaving fate," admitted a deflated mythographer. "They were debugging a YAML file. The 'threads' were literal GitHub pull requests." Asgard’s legal team has since filed for Chapter 11, citing "unforeseen scalability issues with prophetic data pipelines."