The stage is set, folks! In a battle that no one saw coming, two of history's most notorious figures for drugging unsuspecting victims are going head to head. It's Bill Cosby versus Jeffrey Dahmer in a pure drug-induced showdown. Who will come out on top? Let's break it down.
In the blue corner, we have Bill Cosby, once America's favorite funny dad, now serving time for his predatory behavior. Cosby was famous for drugging women and then taking advantage of them while they were incapacitated. He claims it was consensual, but let's be honest, there's nothing consensual about roofies. Cosby is also a huge advocate for Jell-O, so we can only assume he's planning on spiking Dahmer's drink with the gooey stuff.
And in the red corner, we have Jeffrey Dahmer, a man who was known for a few things in his time. Eating people, for one. He also had a penchant for drilling holes in people's skulls and pouring acid into them to turn them into zombie-like state. A man of many talents, to be sure. We can imagine that Dahmer will be spiking Cosby's drink with some sort of hallucinogenic acid, which should make for quite a show.
The two men stand across from each other, drinks in hand, and take a sip. And that's when the fun begins.
Cosby starts to wobble a bit, his eyes glazing over as the Jell-O begins to take effect. He's muttering something about how he's America's dad and that he can't possibly lose to a cannibal. But Dahmer is feeling the acid coursing through his veins, and he's starting to see things. He starts giggling uncontrollably and informs Cosby that he'd like to eat his nose.
Cosby is alarmed at this, but he's feeling pretty good at the moment. He's flailing his arms around and yelling about how he's going to win this thing. Dahmer is chasing him around the room, cackling like a madman, and trying to get a taste of that Jell-O. It's a truly bizarre scene.
As the minutes tick by, it becomes apparent that this is a battle that may never truly be won. Cosby and Dahmer are both too drugged up to even comprehend what they're doing. They're stumbling around, bumping into each other, and occasionally taking swigs from their drinks. It's a long, strange trip, and no one is really sure who's winning.
In the end, the two men collapse on the ground, completely spent from their wild ride. The fight has ended in a draw, with neither Cosby nor Dahmer emerging victorious. But that's not really the point, is it? The point is that two of history's most infamous figures have come together for a battle that no one could have possibly predicted. And that, my friends, is what we call entertainment.
