In an event that has rocked the nation and provided the ultimate plot twist no one saw coming, former president Donald Trump was eaten by a grue. To those unfamiliar with grues, they are fictional nocturnal monsters that dwell in dark places. The allegations of this incident are supported by evidence from multiple eyewitnesses being confused by their own accounts.
Now, the demise of anyone, even Donald Trump, isn’t particularly delightful news, but what matters here is not the event itself, but the sheer absurdity of its nature. Straight from the pages of interactive fiction, a creature of mythical proportions takes a stroll in reality. The primary question here is not 'how did a grue eat Donald Trump', but rather 'how did it even manage to manifest in broad day light'?
Of course, many conspiracy theories have begun to circulate – from claims that dark wizards who love cryptographic puzzles are to blame, to suggestions that the Grue was controlled by vengeful democrats, and even wild theories about the grue being an 'inside job' by Trump himself to avoid further impeachment.
The hard facts do not alter, however: there is a photogenic potus-sized gap in the world, and it’s the same size as the gap in the stomach of the grue. As we struggle to collate our disbelief and shock, let us have a moment of silence for the former President, followed by respectful pondering over the dinner choices of a grue. Who knows, the creature might just be the next big influencer in the political landscape. If it's developed an appetite for politicians, nobody is safe.
