In a twist of fate, defying all previously held beliefs, one person has been discovered that genuinely, unironically, and with full authenticity cares about Hull, a city oft-maligned and ignored. This groundbreaking discovery has shocked residents, local officials, and basically anyone who has ever heard Hull mentioned in passing (which is most of England).
The astonishing find came to light after extensive investigations and data-mining techniques were employed by an elite team of socio-anthropologists, bored out of their minds and determined to prove that there must be at least one person who gives a toss about Hull. And, against all odds, they succeeded.
The lone admirer, a 42-year-old accountant named Darren Jones from Grimsby, has unwittingly found himself in the spotlight after his single-handed adoration of Hull emerged as a statistical anomaly in the nationwide survey. When asked about his love for the city, Jones responded, "Well, I mean, it's not that bad, is it? It's got... you know, um, things going for it."
In a bid to truly comprehend the depth of his sentiments, we asked Jones for his favorite things about Hull. He paused for a moment before answering, "Well, there's The Deep, that's a great aquarium. And the Humber Bridge, that's something, isn't it? Plus, I heard there's a decent Greggs on Anlaby Road."
Conversation with Jones soon revealed that his penchant for Hull began after a work trip, when he ended up staying in the city for a weekend and "had a not terrible time, all things considered." His journey included several visits to local pubs, a trip to a one-of-a-kind Hull-based escape room business, and a stroll around the scenic Pearson Park.
As word of his admiration spreads, the adamant Hull-fan's life has turned upside down. Amid a parade of skeptics accusing him of trolling or seeking attention, potential partners have begun ghosting him on dating apps after seeing "Hull-lover" in his bio. Even his lifelong friends now avoid bringing up anything remotely related to geography, lest Jones launches into an impassioned defense of Hull's underappreciated contributions to the UK.
The polarizing news has garnered a variety of reactions from the city's residents. Some Hull-dwellers are delighted at the revelation, with local businesses scrambling to offer Jones freebies and the keys to the city. "Finally, someone who sees the charm in our humble town," remarked one cheerful barista.
Others, however, are displaying unprecedented levels of suspicion and skepticism about their newfound admirer. "It's got to be some kind of conspiracy," murmured a dubious local. "I mean, what shallow hole have they dug up this bloke from? There's no way this is for real."
Nevertheless, Jones has seemingly remained undeterred by the uproar surrounding his attachment to Hull. In fact, his love for the city has only grown stronger, with Jones recently taking to social media to share photos of his visits to Hull's more obscure gems: an "uncannily accurate" wax museum dedicated to forgotten 90's pop acts, and Hull's very own statue of obscure Czech poet Jiří Wolker.
With Darren Jones officially becoming Hull's lone admirer, the city cautiously celebrates. While the reasons for his appreciation may remain a mystery to most, the accountant heroically forges on, sharing his unshakable fondness and devotion to the obscure wonders of his favorite city - Hull.
