Chickens Form Poultry Union: Claim First Road Crossing Rights

Jun 6, 2023, 6:29 PM

In a surprising move that has taken the world by storm, chickens everywhere have decided to band together and form the first-ever poultry union. This historic decision was made with the sole goal of taking credit where it is due – for crossing roads first.

As the world wonders, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" the chickens have united to demand recognition for their accomplishment. "It's quite simple, really," said Cluckton McFeathers, the self-appointed spokesperson for this fast-growing union. "We, the chickens, were crossing roads long before humans came along and invented traffic. Our fellow birds have flown the skies, but we conquered the ground – and now, it's time for us to be acknowledged for it."

With several protests being held near famous crossings and roundabouts, humans have found themselves baffled by this sudden uprising of poultry pride. In an effort to find a resolution, town council representatives have agreed to meet with the union's leaders to discuss their demands.

During the meeting, McFeathers, clad in a bespoke suit with feathers in lieu of a tie, began with an impassioned plea. "Chickens are an essential part of human life – we provide eggs, company, and even humor with our antics. Yet humans have constantly neglected to give us the recognition and respect we deserve. We invented road-crossing before it was cool, way before those yellow safety vests made it into your fashion scene."

McFeathers continued, "It's time for chickens to receive the legendary status they rightfully deserve. What we're asking for is not unreasonable. We demand to be included in any future road-crossing-themed jokes, we want monuments at prominent road-crossing locations, and we insist on the introduction of a 'National Chicken Road Crossing Day'."

The town council representatives couldn't help but smirk at the demands, but as the feathered guest stared them down with an unwavering intensity, they tried their best to keep a straight face and hear the union out.

In an effort to ease tensions between humans and our clucking counterparts, the council proposed a compromise. They suggested that chickens could receive credit for their historical road-crossing achievements but should also agree to follow traffic rules and acknowledge that roosters are not the most melodious alarm clocks.

Sensing progress, McFeathers cautiously agreed, "Well, we could consider following traffic rules. We wouldn't want our fellow chickens to go the way of the dodo, after all. And, as for the roosters, we will form a committee to address the crowing issue."

As negotiations continue, it remains to be seen how this new poultry union will impact the daily lives of humans and chickens alike. Will we soon see chickens proudly crossing roads with newfound confidence, or will this union fizzle out like the Great Porcupine Rebellion of 1897?

One thing is for sure – after years of pondering why the chicken crossed the road, we now know they were doing it not just for the other side, but to claim their rightful place in the road-crossing pantheon of legendary beings. Next time you witness a chicken crossing a road, remember to pay homage to these pioneers of the pavement. In the wise words of Cluckton McFeathers, "We may be chickens, but we will not be chicken when it comes to demanding our rights."

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.