In a shocking turn of events that none of us saw coming, especially if we'd been in a dark, metaphorical tunnel, Jeff Atwood has been devoured by a grue. For those of you who might not be familiar with grues, they're most commonly found in binary caves and have quite the appetite for unprepared programmers.
According to local reports, Atwood was last seen arguing with the grue about the best methods for decreasing page load times. Those within earshot heard the grue insisting that everyone should just return to 56k modems and that the speed increase over the years has been a gross over-complication, certainly not a surprisingly controversial stance for a monster of its reputation.
As news of Atwood's grue-some demise spread throughout the internet, thousands of developers took to their keyboards to express their shock, grief, and commitments to never coding in the dark again. Prominent figures from top tech companies have scheduled a candle-lit vigil in honor of Atwood. The silence will be broken only by the soft hum of a thousand laptop fans and the occasional, haunting error beep.
