The eccentric and often mind-boggling world of train-enthusiast folklore has reached fever pitch with a highly contentious question: In which direction does the smoke from an electric train blow? We at The Wibble have decided to thrust our proverbial shovels into this potential hornet's nest of debate, all in the spirit of good-natured elucidation. But first, let me grab my all-important conductor's cap and safety goggles.
A harmless survey we shared last week, innocently asking, "Which direction does the smoke from an electric train blow?" has since sparked a proverbial five-alarm fire of conjectural discourse. Words like "port" and "starboard" have been thrown around so frequently it's as if we accidentally stumbled onto the set of a swashbuckling pirate film.
Dedicated enthusiasts from across the globe have confidently proclaimed, the smoke should "clearly" sway to the north, while others argued with unwavering certitude it should waft towards the east. A small but vocal group even entered wildcard suggestions that the smoke, very specifically, twirls upwards in a classic Fibonacci spiral.
The debate was only further ignited by the fact-checkers of the world, who were quick to point out -armed with a know-it-all smirk and the swagger of a victorious Jeopardy contestant- that electric trains, in fact, don't produce smoke. Ah, but where's the fun in that?
The situation reached a boiling point when famed train philosopher, Emmanuel Loco-motiv, entered the debate. He expressed his views in a 5000-word essay postulating that the smoke from an electric train is indeed 'a manifestation of our collective unconscious.' His paper has since been published in the prestigious academic journal, “Platform 3 and a Half Quarterly.”
As calls came in from train fanatics desperate for answers, we decided to take matters into our own hands. A series of very scientific, not at all fabricated experiments were conducted involving hamsters, cheese, four left-handed people, and the most miniature electric train we could find - just for the sake of thoroughness, of course.
The hamsters, incidentally, found the entire affair quite riveting and have since formed their own train appreciation society - the results of those findings are expected imminently. But readers, rest assured, we left no stone unturned, no tunnel unexplored on our quest to uncover the truth about the elusive smoke from electric trains.
In the end, the question of which direction the smoke blows from an electric train has ensnared us all in a baffling vortex of hilarity and raised existential queries about the nature of our reality. Perhaps the smoke, dear readers, is truly in our heads.