Are you tired of being a mediocre cringer? Do you want to take your cringe game to the next level? Look no further, because the cringiest person in the world has just released their very own guide on how to cringe properly.
According to this cringy individual, the key to cringing properly is to be painfully awkward in every possible situation. Whether you're at a party or in a business meeting, there's always an opportunity to make things super uncomfortable.
Step 1: Awkward silences
The first step to becoming a master cringer is to embrace awkward silences. Whenever there's a break in conversation, make sure to stare intently at the person next to you without saying a word. This will make them incredibly uncomfortable, which is exactly what you want.
Step 2: Forced laughter
Once you've successfully mastered the art of awkward silences, it's time to move on to forced laughter. Whenever someone tells a joke that isn't funny, make sure to laugh extra hard. And if someone says something completely serious, burst out laughing as if it's the funniest thing you've ever heard. This will make everyone think you're a lunatic, which is the ultimate goal.
Step 3: Unwanted physical contact
Now that you've got the hang of awkward silences and forced laughter, it's time to take things up a notch. Whenever you see someone you barely know, make sure to give them a big, lingering hug. And if they try to pull away, hold on even tighter. This will make them feel incredibly uncomfortable, which is exactly what you want.
Step 4: Awkward compliments
If you really want to take your cringe game to the next level, start giving out awkward compliments. Tell your boss how beautiful their eyes are. Compliment your coworker's hair in a really weird and creepy way. This will make everyone around you feel incredibly uncomfortable, which is exactly what you want.
Step 5: Weird noises
If you've made it this far, congratulations! You're now a cringe master. But if you really want to cement your status as the cringiest person in the room, start making weird noises. Snort loudly whenever you laugh. Make strange guttural noises whenever you're trying to think. And if you really want to go for it, start humming at random intervals. This will make everyone want to run in the opposite direction, which is exactly what you want.
So there you have it, folks. With these five simple steps, you too can become the cringiest person in the world. But don't take our word for it. Give it a try and see for yourself.
