Dalek Unveils New Catchphrase 'Exterminate!' from Inspirational Self-Help Book

Jul 19, 2023, 2:02 AM

The Dalek, the nightmarish alien conqueror from the BBC show Doctor Who, has always been known for its single-minded focus on universal domination and fear-inducing capabilities. But who would have thought their modus operandi could take a hilarious turn, thanks to a misunderstood inspirational self-help book?

Nestled deep within the corridors of the Dalek hierarchy, a bespectacled Dalek, named SpiroTheta (or commonly known by their pet name, "Spidro"), enjoyed his downtime scrolling through an array of human-written books. Rooted in quiet introspection, they stumbled upon an intriguing selection: a human self-help book titled 'Exterminate Your Fears: Live Fearlessly.'

With a title that resonated powerfully with the Dalek's directive (exterminate), Spidro picked it up, eager to understand the human concept of facing fears. Unfortunately, given the Daleks' infamous one-track mind in genuine peril annihilation, they entirely misinterpreted the metaphorical guidance of 'exterminating fears.'

The Dalek, in all its metallic and alien intellect, took the book literal, proclaiming 'Exterminate!' to become their new catchphrase, now taking it to mean a motivational mantra aimed at overcoming obstacles rather than a command for mass destruction. This existential misunderstanding has led to a series of faux-inspirational moments that have had the Dalek community, and indeed, fans of the show, in stitches.

As word spread of Spidro’s newfound inspiration, Daleks everywhere began adopting 'Exterminate!' as a self-improvement mantra. The war ships that once echoed with threats of impending doom now resound with Daleks, suction arms reaching skywards, yelling 'Exterminate!' to motivate each other to overcome life's obstacles.

Satellites intercepted broadcasts showing the Daleks uniting in large numbers, not to plan their attack strategy, but literally climbing metaphorical mountains. They can be heard to challenge one another: "Exterminate the limitations. Exterminate the self-doubt. Exterminate the fear."

Unsuspecting humans who had been tuning in for their daily dose of terror were left befuddled and mildly amused, chuckling at the display of misunderstanding cloaked in iron-wrought optimism. Galactic dominators singing chants of self-improvement - an ironic twist indeed!

Call it irony, call it misdirection, or just chalk it up as lost in translation. The universes are having a hearty laugh at the Dalek self-help trend while presumably breathing a collective sigh of relief. Meanwhile, Spidro, oblivious to the irony, continues inspiring their fellow Daleks, one motivational 'extermination' at a time.

Indeed, this unexpected development has prompted us humans to analyse our use of motivational mantras derived from questionable self-help literature. The hilarious revelation serves as a reminder that the journey towards self-improvement can look very different from one civilization to another, even if it comes packaged in a shiny metal shell with a plunger. Remember, the next time you wield a self-help book with quirky catchphrases, interpret wisely, or run the risk of unwittingly becoming a laughing stock like our Dalek friends.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.