Disney Announces Hostile Takeover of U.S. Congress

Washington D.C. - In a stunning announcement today, corporate giant Disney revealed that it has successfully acquired control of the United States Congress through a hostile takeover. Disney CEO Bob Chapek stated that this move was "necessary for the future success of both our company and America as a whole."

Under this new regime, beloved Disney characters are set to take on new roles in the government. Mickey Mouse, long-time symbol of the company, has already been named the new Speaker of the House. In his first speech, he promised to "make America magical again."

But not everyone is thrilled with this news. Long-time political insider Donald Duck has been reportedly fuming at the prospect of his demotion to a lower level position. Goofy, on the other hand, is set to be put in charge of the budget - a move that has some experts worried.

Critics of the move have accused Disney of engaging in a power grab and forcing their corporate agenda onto the American people. Others have expressed concern that this takeover is a slippery slope towards even more corporate influence in government.

Despite these concerns, Chapek remains confident that this move is in the best interest of all Americans. "Disney has always been about making dreams come true," he said in a statement. "We envision a future where every American can live happily ever after."

Only time will tell what the future holds for the United States now that Mickey Mouse and company are at the helm. But for now, Disney fans across the country are rejoicing at the thought of living in a world where their favorite characters have control over Congress.