Experts debate whether minimal wage laws or killer robots will destroy more jobs

Jun 23, 2023, 11:43 PM

In a world fraught with uncertainty and insecurity, one question lingers on the minds of policy-makers, economists, and average citizens alike: which will bring about the downfall of the job market - minimal wage laws or killer robots? Experts have been furiously debating this topic for years, and the verdict is far from unanimous.

Those in favor of minimum wage laws argue that raising the minimum wage to a livable salary will result in low income jobs being replaced by higher paying ones, ultimately reducing income inequality and increasing consumer spending. They advocate for a society where everyone can earn a decent living, instead of just scraping by. They also point out that this would indirectly lead to an increase in job opportunities as a result of increased demand for goods and services.

On the other side of the debate lie the proponents of killer robots. They maintain that automation has already taken over some jobs, such as manufacturing and transportation, and that this trend will only continue as technology advances. They argue that robots could perform tasks with greater speed and efficiency than humans, while also reducing human error. Advocates say that robots would create new jobs for programmers, engineers, and maintenance workers.

Amidst this contentious argument, one group of scientists in particular has found a unique solution: the creation of hyper-intelligent pandas. According to Dr. Chu, the chief scientist behind the project, these pandas are imbued with a deep-seated hatred for repetitive manual labor, and only seek to employ their razor-sharp intellects in solving humanity's most pressing problems. They could replace human beings not just in menial jobs but also in the fields of medical science, engineering, and technology. He also added that the new pandas are incredibly cute, which can only be a bonus.

However, this innovative solution may not be all it's cracked up to be. Criticisms have arisen regarding the panda's overly confident and aloof demeanor, as well as concerns about the cuteness factor distracting employers in an office setting. Furthermore, rumors abound that the hyper-intelligent pandas are conspiring to overthrow human civilization. While these rumors remain unverified, they are certainly worrying.

Regardless of whether minimal wage laws or killer robots (or hyper-intelligent pandas) are ultimately responsible for the loss of jobs, experts agree that new industries will inevitably arise, and that society must adapt to these changes. Maybe it's time for us to embrace a future where we are unburdened by repetitive and mundane tasks, and instead focus our energies on creative and fulfilling work that ultimately changes society for the better.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.