Summers in Florida are the stuff of legend- pristine beaches, sunny days, and lazy afternoons by the pool. But for one Florida man, the summer of 2021 has become a season of terror.
After years of dreading the chore of mowing his lawn, Donald, a resident of Sarasota, had finally had enough. "I just couldn't take it anymore," he told reporters. "The heat, the sweat, the monotony...it was driving me insane."
Desperate for a solution, Donald scoured the depths of the internet for an answer- and that's when he stumbled upon a bizarre blog post claiming that demons could be summoned to do your bidding. "I know, I know, it sounds crazy," Donald said. "But at that point, I was willing to try anything."
Without thinking twice, Donald followed the instructions laid out in the post. He drew the summoning circle on his front lawn, lit the candles, and chanted the incantation. "At first, nothing happened," Donald recalled. "I thought it was a load of crap. But then, things got weird."
Suddenly, the ground began to shake beneath Donald's feet. A low rumbling sound grew louder and louder, until finally, a gaping hole opened up in the center of the circle. And out of that hole came...a crocodile?
"Well, I'll be damned," Donald said. "I wasn't sure what to make of it at first. But then, more and more crocs started spilling out of the hole. And they were huge- I'm talking 'Jurassic Park' huge."
It didn't take long for the rest of the neighborhood to catch on to the chaos unfolding on Donald's lawn. Before he knew it, a crowd had gathered, including a group of hapless city officials.
"We've never seen anything like it," said one official, who declined to be named. "We tried calling in animal control, but they said they don't specialize in prehistoric reptilian infestations."
As for Donald, he's still coming to terms with the consequences of his reckless act. "I don't know what I was thinking," he said. "But hey, at least my lawn looks great now."
As for the rest of us, it's probably best to steer clear of Sarasota for the time being. Who knows what other unwelcome surprises are lurking beneath the surface?
