Ladies and Gentlemen, put together your ethereal applause for the spectral spirit delivering iLaughs from the other side – the Ghost of Steve Jobs!
It’s a post-life career switcheroo, folks. Once the herald of sleek, clean design and technological advance, has now hit the ethereal comedy circuit. He's out of the box, quite literally, and without a single dry circuit in the house!
“My new career choice is dead serious, I assure you,” Jobs kicked off, invoking ghoulish guffaws from the spectral audience in the club. “Who knew the afterlife had such a great IT crowd?”
He looked down at his spectral jeans and grinned broadly. “Starting this new gig, there were so many things I didn’t count on. Like never being able to change these jeans. Who knew you’d die in what you died in?” Cue a collective sigh from the phantoms clad in bell bottoms, polyester suits and poodle skirts.
Work might have ceased for Jobs in the corporal world, but in the hereafter, he had not left his offbeat thinking at the Gates – second to none, believe you me. “Have you guys ever tried to reboot your ectoplasm? It’s harder than trying to get AirDrop to work in the basement!” he lamented.
Shuffling around the stage, the spectral Steve Jobs began to examine tech faux pas from the ethereal afterlife. “You know what they never figure when outfitting the afterlife? No Wi-Fi! How am I supposed to ignore people at ghostly gatherings now?” he exclaimed.
“And another thing, all these floating devices here, they're absolute zero in temperature! My ghostly fingers freeze every time I receive a call!”
Ethereal chuckles filled the spectral comedy club again, punctuated by the loud hoots of a ghost in the front row clad in Victorian clothing, swollen mutton-chop sideburns wobbly in hilarity.
Jobs exorcised more of the spectral world's absurdities, "Have you noticed the ghastly fashion here? It's always like a netherworldly 19th-century horror movie set. What's up with that? I miss my white sneakers and water-resistant watches already!”
“But you know what's worse? The eeriness of messaging here. We've got specter-texting - freaking takes forever to send just one ‘Boo’. And don't even get me started on phantom phone batteries, they die more often than we do!”
As Jobs ended his set, the deathly hall bursts into a chorus of spectral applause. The ethereal noises of clapping with transparent hands, more of a rustling whisper than the robust sound we imagine, swept the room. And just like that, Steve Jobs had cracked the code in the ghostly realms too – delivering Spirit-Breaking tech-nominal comedy.
Stand-up comedy has indeed taken a spectral spin with the Ghost of Steve Jobs at the helm, wailing at the patent absurdities of the other-side life. His ethereal performances prove to the living universe that you can indeed ‘Think Different’, right from the afterlife.
Who knew being dead could be such a cracking joke? Well, Steve did!