After years of denying the existence of UFOs and covering up alien sightings, the government has finally come clean about the real reason for their secrecy: they just can't keep their snacks safe from extraterrestrial beings.
It turns out that aliens have developed a taste for human junk food, and they're not afraid to raid our cabinets to get it. According to government officials, the extraterrestrial love for our snacks stems from a lack of vending machines in their home galaxies.
"We've had countless reports of UFO sightings over the years, but we always denied their existence," said a government spokesperson. "It wasn't until we started doing some investigating that we realized the real reason they were coming to Earth: to steal our snacks."
Experts have speculated that the aliens' addiction to our junk food is due to its high levels of salt, sugar, and fat. "It's like crack to them," said one expert. "Once they get a taste, they just can't stop."
But the government is determined to put an end to the snack raids. They've started developing new technologies that will deter the aliens from coming to Earth, including snack-repelling devices and vending machines that are compatible with alien currency.
"We're not going to let these aliens steal our snacks anymore," said the government spokesperson. "We are going to protect our country's junk food at all costs."
The news of the government's cover-up has sent shockwaves through the alien community, with some expressing outrage that their love for human snacks has been exposed.
"We only wanted to try a few Oreos," said one alien. "We didn't think it was such a big deal."
But despite the outcry, the government is standing firm on their policy of snack protection. "We'll do whatever it takes to keep our snacks safe," said the spokesperson. "Even if it means taking on the entire alien race."
In the meantime, citizens are urged to keep their snacks under lock and key, lest they fall victim to an intergalactic snack thief. After all, you never know when the next UFO sighting might happen.
