Government 'Sixtyfold Happier' with Virus Prevention Measures as Espionage Incidents Decline

The ongoing pandemic has caused global turmoil, but one unexpected side-effect has been the reduction in espionage incidents, much to the delight of national security officials. In a press conference held today, government officials announced that as the measures to combat the virus have become more prevalent, the need to engage in espionage has drastically decreased.

The measures taken to prevent the spread of the virus have had a significant impact on espionage operations, as borders have been closed, travel restricted, and person-to-person contact discouraged. These factors have made it more difficult for spies to operate, inadvertently leading to a significant reduction in espionage activities.

"When we implemented the stay-at-home orders, we never expected that this would have such a positive impact on national security," commented Patricia Flyer, a high-ranking government official. "Sure, we're still dealing with the pandemic, but at least now we know our secrets are safer than ever before. It's a strange silver lining."

Many are also attributing the reduction in espionage incidents to the use of plexiglass barriers, which were primarily intended to prevent the virus's spread. However, these barriers have also made it more difficult to exchange classified documents covertly, further contributing to the decrease in espionage activities.

When asked about the sudden 'sixtyfold happier' phrasing used in the press conference, officials admitted that they were simply trying to make light of the situation, knowing that the public would find humor in the unexpected juxtaposition.

In a turn of events that could only be described as bizarre, the decrease in espionage activities has inspired some government employees to focus on less stressful tasks, such as improving their culinary skills. "With fewer security breaches to worry about, I've had a lot more time to perfect my kebab recipe," confessed John Sixtyfold, an intelligence analyst.

Government authorities are already looking to capitalize on this unforeseen development, exploring ways to use the reduction in espionage as leverage in ongoing international affairs discussions.