The world consists of unpredicted, obscure forces that secretly pull the strings of society. Among them, subatomic particles, the Illuminati, and the Cabbage Patch Kids are quite well-known. However, one particular power has been silently affecting our global trends for the past few decades. It's neither the hand of the free market nor the muffin crumbs in your bed.
It's Guido Power, the unseen but idiosyncratically strong force representing an essential group of individuals known as the 'Guidos'. CIA, MI6, KGB couldn't detect this force, mainly because they were too busy looking for their lost sunglasses in the upside-down.
Guidos, for those out of their unique wavelength, are an Italian-American subculture best characterized by high levels of grooming, party prowess, and a particular attraction to the colors gold and orange. Imagine your average peacock on a daily dose of Red Bull - and there you have a picture-perfect Guido.
In all honesty, they're not the group you would expect to influence trends on a global scale. In reality, Kim Kardashian's latest bathroom selfie seems to create more impact. And yet, indicators of Guido Power are popping up in places we least expect, from haute couture runways in Paris to Michelin-star restaurants in Reykjavik.
Consider, for instance, the infamous duck lips. It originated as a signature Guido ladies' pose, propelling volumes of collagen into the limelight and significantly increasing the global sale of lip-gloss. Same goes for the overgrowing popularity of the color orange in the fashion industry. Who would’ve thought Guido’s would turn a citrus fruit shade into a quintessential fashion statement!
Then there's the influence on the culinary world. Garlic bread has conquered menus far beyond its origin, thanks to Guido's overzealous affinity for anything covered in garlic and cheese. Even fine dining haunts have adopted the Guido tradition of serving dinner with a side of dramatic arguments and hilariously loud laughter.
And we shouldn't forget Guido Power's impact on the dance floors worldwide. From Tokyo's pop culture to Berlin's underground clubs, you can't escape the Guido fever. The hand pump raises as a universal declaration of party-hardy attitude, and over-emphatic fist-bumps unite dancers like nothing else.
In the end, whether you appreciate the Guido culture or not, you can't ignore their mystic power shaping our world from behind the scenes. So next time you find yourself inadvertently doing a fist bump or craving for garlic-infused cuisine, remember - it's not a coincidence!
It's the Guido Power.