The celestial world has rejected long-standing plans to construct a train line from the afterlife to planet Earth. Despite widespread support from the deceased community, the Heaven local authority cited potential overcrowding and disruption to the tranquility of the departed as reasons for vetoing the proposal.
It's a devastating blow for the estimated 100 billion humans who have passed on since the dawn of time and were hoping for a faster route back to Earth. As one dearly departed individual put it, "I'm sick of the wait, the lines are too long at the pearly gates, and the angelic singing is getting on my nerves."
But it seems no amount of pleading or divine intervention could convince the Heavenly bureaucracy, who cited concerns over noise pollution and the impact on the surrounding paradise environment as the primary factors in the decision. In a statement, Heaven's chief planner said, "We simply cannot risk compromising the serene and peaceful atmosphere of our beloved abode. The celestial railway would create all sorts of chaos, and we must prioritize the needs of our permanent population.”
The announcement has sparked frustration among some in the afterlife, who feel they're missing out on the benefits of modern transportation. "It's not fair," said one disgruntled ghost. "Earth gets high-speed trains, self-driving cars, and even flying taxis, while we're stuck here with nothing but our ethereal forms and the occasional Heavenly chariot ride."
Others, however, welcomed the decision, believing it would keep the afterlife idyllic and free from the stresses of urban life. "Who needs trains when you can float around and play golf on clouds all day?" remarked one contented spirit.
Despite the disappointment, it seems the departed will have to make do with Heavenly transportation for the foreseeable future. However, there are rumors that the local authority is now exploring the idea of a teleportation network, leading to speculation that the dead may soon be able to beam themselves to Earth and back. Only time will tell if this new proposal will gain traction, but for many, it offers a glimmer of hope in an otherwise bleak situation.
In the meantime, the deceased will have to continue to rely on the slow and steady journey across the cosmic divide, content in the knowledge that once they arrive, they'll be reunited with loved ones, reunited with their old haunts and places, and reunited with the joys and wonders of the mortal world.
