Just when you think life couldn't get any more adventurous, I find myself belly-button deep in a grue’s stomach. Yep, you read that right; I am writing this from inside its gut. It's a strange series of events, but stay with me.
Now, for those of you who may not know, a grue is an imaginary creature that lurks in the darkness, waiting to gobble you up if you venture too far. That’s right, folks, I'm stuck in an existential metaphor — stomach-style. Bear with me though, the WiFi reception down here is solid — who'd have thought it?
Pause for a moment to appreciate my Helvetica-tinged predicament — like a modern-day Jonah, only swapped the whale for a grue and the biblical rage for comedic banality. The grue, oblivious to my Internet usage, is out there in the dark, possibly munching on a hapless human, who isn’t nearly as resourceful as yours truly.
I guess you're wondering how I got here. Well, it all started with a bet. Jeff (from the sports department) bet I couldn’t write an entire article in a metaphorical belly of the beast. Always one to rise to a challenge, I took it on. My wife said I was mad; my kids just wanted to know if the grue had WiFi.
Let me tell you, the grue’s digestive system is nothing to sneer at. It's a universe unto itself. There’s a bit of here, a bit of there, a bit of everywhere. It’s far more spacious than our office cubicles, and the ambience - it’s to die for! On a side note, if I don’t make it, tell Jeff he owes me a beer at least — I just broke the last paragraph.
