In a shocking turn of events for one young Latin scholar, the reality of the modern world has come crashing down upon him like a ton of ancient Roman bricks.
Nestorius Daedalus, 26, has spent the better part of his life studying the Latin language and literature of the ancient world, pouring over dusty tomes and deciphering texts that have been lost to time for centuries. But as he submitted his thesis to the university last week written entirely in Latin, he received an unexpected response - nobody understood a word he had written.
"I was flabbergasted," said Daedalus, "I had assumed that anyone educated in the Western world would at least have a basic understanding of the Latin language. But apparently, I was wrong."
Daedalus, whose name roughly translates to "gift of Minerva," says he has always been drawn to the ancient world, and the literature and language of Rome in particular. "It's a fascinating language," he says. "So precise and structured, with a rich literary tradition that spans centuries. And it's the root of so many other languages, including my native Greek."
But as it turns out, the modern world has little use for Latin beyond the confines of academic institutions. "I mean, who speaks Latin these days?" asks Daedalus. "Only a small handful of scholars and the odd Catholic priest, as far as I can tell."
Daedalus says he now realizes that his love for Latin may have been misplaced, and that he may have to adapt his interests to fit the modern world. "Maybe it's time for me to start learning something more useful," he says. "Like coding or Mandarin."
Despite this major setback, Daedalus remains undeterred and hopeful for the future. "Who knows - maybe Latin will have a resurgence at some point. Or maybe I'll just become the world's foremost expert on a completely useless language. Either way, I'll be prepared."
As for his thesis, Daedalus says he will attempt to translate it to English and resubmit it - but he admits it won't be the same. "A language is so much more than just a way to communicate," he says. "It's a window into a culture and a way of thinking. And unfortunately, that window is now closed for many people."
