Not too long ago, within the winning hub of North American trade, more specifically, the green-laden fields of Mexico, a remarkable thing happened. A new and exotic crop replaced the age-old famous 'Mexican corn.' The natives call it Mary Jane. The scientists describe it as Cannabis. And the aliens? They call it "the Green Gold."
The first interaction with the extra-terrestrial beings came with a tractor beam and an innocent farm worker, Manual. As per Manual's testimony, the aliens sounded something like a modem speaking Spanish while they gushed about the quality of the Cannabis.
Alien translation: "Daaiiiiiiiing homies! This stuff is lit!"
To prove that the aliens weren't just making moonshine out of our beloved Cannabis, they kindly left behind a joint with an intergalactic stamp. It was labeled 'Galactic Black Market Premium' with an unmatched price, transforming regular cannabis farmers into billionaire drug barons overnight.
Recovered from the initial shock, the Mexican authorities managed to capture the communication of the alien dealers with an improvised network of tortilla dishes. The hilarious ill-preparedness baffled everyone when the aliens were caught discussing. The literal translation was the aliens saying:
Alien translation: "These Earthlings have something that's far more valuable than their precious Bitcoin!"
A mile beneath the Earth's crust, secret societies hypothesized that aliens' fondness for Mexico's Mary Jane was proof that they are effectively cross-galactic stoners - the reason they’re always abducting cows? Munchies. Insiders claim that these creatures are obsessed with Mexican cuisine.
Researcher's note: "What the humans consider 'weed,' these aliens consider 'fine spirits.' Tequila time is, therefore, high noon in the alien realm."
And as though things couldn't get weirder, the most bizarre incident came from space. The Mexican government received a series of strange radio signals from deep space. After days of struggling to decipher these interstellar messages with top-notch linguists and scientists, it was discovered that the alien dealers were attempting to place an order.
Alien message: "Hello, hombres. We'll take 420 quintals of your top-shelf green, touchdown ETA two solar cycles."
In the latest developments, global tensions are escalating as extraterrestrial exploitation of earthly resources stirs outrage. The United Nations' extraterrestrial trade regulation committee says, "The necessary intervention to this cross-galactic drug trafficking shall be...to escalate the situation unnecessarily."
Meanwhile, the Mexican government is spinning hard, insisting the crop is entirely for medical use. "Yes...medical. Don't even think about it being used for joyrides across the galaxy."
In the throes of such intergalactic conundrums, the Earth reels in a mixture of shock, hysteria, and a dash of humor. Eventually, everyone collectively agrees: As long as aliens are overpaying for Mexican cannabis while not noticing our actual gold reserves, why spoil the fun?
This all brings us to the surprising revelation that while humans were busy with cryptocurrencies, the galactic market value of the 'green' has skyrocketed. Bitcoin, step aside. The Galactic black market's newest darling is the Mexican Cannabis.
In the meanwhile, Mexico’s Cannabis farmers won't complain. After all, it's not every day you get to be an extraterrestrial drug dealer.