We all know that flying can be a real pain in the neck. Who wants to stand in line for hours and then be crammed into a tiny seat with strangers for a few hours? If you're looking to make your flying experience even worse, we've got the solution for you. In just a few easy steps, you can get yourself on the FBI No-Fly List and ensure that flying is never an option for you again.
Step 1: Make Some Questionable Friends
The first step to getting on the FBI No-Fly List is to make some questionable friends. We're talking about folks who may have some ties to terrorist organizations or who have a record of engaging in criminal activities. The more questionable your friends are, the better your chances of getting on the list.
Step 2: Travel to Suspicious Countries
Next, you'll want to travel to some suspicious countries. Places like Syria, Iran, and North Korea are sure to raise some red flags. Make sure you stay there for an extended period of time and make some questionable connections while you're there.
Step 3: Make Suspicious Purchases
When you're back in the US, it's time to start making some suspicious purchases. Stock up on things like fertilizer, large quantities of alcohol, and pressure cookers. These may seem like innocent items to you, but to the FBI, they're all red flags.
Step 4: Make Some Threats
This step is not for the faint of heart. You'll want to make some threats to important people or institutions. Make sure they're serious enough to get the attention of the authorities, but not so serious that you end up in jail. It's a delicate balance, but if you can pull it off, you'll be well on your way to getting on the No-Fly List.
Step 5: Wait for the Knock on the Door
Once you've completed all of the steps above, all you can do is wait. It may take a few days or a few weeks, but eventually, you'll get a knock on your door from the FBI. Congratulations, you're now on the No-Fly List!
In conclusion, getting on the FBI No-Fly List may seem like a daunting task, but with our step-by-step guide, it's easy as pie. Who needs the hassle of air travel anyway? Stay home, relax, and bask in the glow of your newfound infamy. Just remember to stay out of trouble, or you may end up on a different kind of list altogether.
