As the world reels under the onslaught of a global pandemic, a man who lost everything can't help but feel that it was the perfect time for the outbreak to happen.
"I mean, I wasn't doing anything anyways," said Gary Thompson, a 28-year-old man from New Jersey, as he coughed without covering his mouth. "It's strange how this has lined up perfectly."
Thompson, who lost his job, his savings, and his girlfriend in one fell swoop, claims to have found a new purpose in life. He wants to spread COVID-19 to as many people as he can.
"It's like manna from heaven," he said, grinning maniacally. "It's better than winning the lottery."
When questioned about his motives, Thompson let out a deep sigh and shook his head. "What's the point of living?" he asked rhetorically. "I had a great girlfriend, a decent job, and some savings. And she took everything away from me. Everything. What's even the point of living anymore?"
Thompson's new-found obsession with infecting others with COVID-19 has made him a pariah in his community. His former friends and acquaintances have cut all ties with him, and his family won't even answer his calls.
"I don't really care about those people anyways," he said, his eyes glazed over. "They never cared about me when I needed them. But now? Oh boy. They're all over me. Now that I have a purpose."
Thompson, who recently returned from a trip to China, where he believes he picked up the virus, doesn't seem concerned about his own health.
"Why should I?" he scoffed. "I'm already dead inside."
The local authorities have struggled to make Thompson comply with safety guidelines, and some have even speculated that he may be a bio-terrorist.
"I don't know what the fuss is about," he said as he coughed into his hand and wiped it on his jeans. "I'm just doing God's work."
Local hospitals have warned residents to avoid any contact with Thompson, and the CDC has issued a statement condemning his actions.
"He's a danger to himself and others," the statement read. "We urge anyone who has come into contact with him to seek immediate medical attention."
Meanwhile, Thompson continues to laugh in the face of danger, convinced that his new life's purpose is the right one.
As for his ex-girlfriend, Thompson admits that he has some sympathy for her.
"I mean, she still has to live in this world, doesn't she?" he said, cackling. "And I don't think it's going to be a very fun one."
