Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi Denies Rumors of Sexual Liaisons with Country's Map
In a shocking turn of events, Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi has been accused of having a sexual relationship with none other than India's national map. The rumor mill went into overdrive this week when an alleged memo leaked from Modi's office suggested that he had been caught in a compromising position with the map, which was left crumpled and disheveled on the floor.
The Indian public has been left reeling by the potential implications of this scandal, with many questioning the Prime Minister's judgment and morality. However, Modi has vehemently denied any wrongdoing, stating that "I only have eyes for the Indian Constitution."
While this may seem like a bizarre defense, many are choosing to believe the Prime Minister. After all, who in their right mind would choose a lifeless, two-dimensional map over the flesh-and-blood citizens of the world's largest democracy?
Nevertheless, the news has prompted fierce debate among India's more conservative communities, who argue that the Prime Minister should be held to a higher standard of moral conduct. "Our country's leaders should be role models for our children," said one outraged parent. "I don't want my son growing up thinking it's okay to...well, you know."
Others, however, have taken a more light-hearted approach to the story. "At least it wasn't Pakistan's map," joked one Twitter user, referring to India's historical rivalry with its neighbor to the west.
As the controversy rages on, politicians on both sides of the aisle have been quick to weigh in. "These rumors are deeply troubling," said opposition leader Rahul Gandhi in a statement. "But let's not forget that this is the same party that once accused us of being in cahoots with aliens."
Some have criticized the government's response to the accusations, which has thus far been to simply deny and deflect. "This is a serious matter that needs to be investigated thoroughly," said one political analyst. "The Prime Minister owes it to the Indian people to come clean and put this scandal to rest once and for all."
In the meantime, the citizens of India are left to ponder the strange and unexpected ways in which their elected officials choose to express themselves. Perhaps it's time for a change in leadership – or at least a change in office decor.
