In a world where culinary disagreements can divide families, nations, and internet forums, there has been a smoldering dispute simmering beneath the surface, just waiting for an intrepid soul to ignite its infernal flame. That debate is: the true nature of the calzone. Is it, as some claim, a pizza sandwich or something entirely different?
Enter the Calzone Crusaders, a group of pizza enthusiasts dedicating their free time and cholesterol to exploring the ins and outs of the glorious calzone. These brave eaters have recently taken to social media, posing this existential culinary question and seeking to end the arguments once and for all.
As with many things in life, the truth may lie somewhere in between, but let's break down both sides of this divisive debate.
Team Pizza Sandwich
Some food enthusiasts, often known as "pizzandwichers," argue that the calzone is simply a pizza sandwich because it consists of pizza ingredients wrapped between two layers of dough. They also point out that calzones often come with a side of marinara sauce for dipping, much like sandwiches that could be dipped into soup or other sauces.
To liken the calzone to a sandwich, one must adopt a loose definition of what constitutes a sandwich. If the definition is merely "a filling between two pieces of any sort of bread or dough," then perhaps the calzone does, in fact, qualify. But some would argue that this overly broad definition of a sandwich is an affront to both pizza and sandwiches alike.
It's a slippery slope – if we accept the calzone as a pizza sandwich, must we also accept hot dogs as meat tube sandwiches? Will burritos suddenly be classified as Mexican sandwiches? The questions quickly spiral out of control.
Team NOT a Pizza Sandwich
On the other side of the debate are the "calzononesians," who will fight tooth and nail to establish that the calzone is not a pizza sandwich. They argue that while the calzone shares many ingredients with the platonic ideal of pizza, the sandwich construction muddies the waters and leads us to culinary confusion.
The calzononesians believe that we must adhere to strict sandwich nomenclature. By their standards, a sandwich must consist of separate slices of bread with the filling in between. The calzone, with its single piece of folded dough, does not meet these criteria. In their eyes, there is a clear distinction between the two, and they will not rest until everyone understands the magnitude of their belief.
The Verdict
Much like the eternal debate of whether a hot dog is a sandwich, this question may never truly be resolved. It appears that this calzone conundrum is less about the actual food item and more about the desire to define the world and its delectable offerings.
In an effort to settle this ultimate debate, we must remember that culinary language evolves over time, and these debates may be better tackled with a fork and knife (or hands, if you prefer) rather than heated words.
So, dear readers, as you continue to ponder this gastronomic enigma, remember not to lose sight of what is essential – the inherent deliciousness of the calzone, in all its cheesy, saucy, doughy glory. Whether it is a pizza sandwich or a pizza in disguise, let us come together and celebrate our shared love for the calzone, unencumbered by labels and limitations.
In the end, we may never reach a consensus on whether a calzone is a pizza sandwich, but one thing is certain: it is a culinary creation worthy of our admiration and appetites. Let the debate rage on, but remember that in these dark and divisive times, a warm and cheesy calzone is a delicious respite we can all appreciate.