Java Founder James Gosling Discovered to Actually be Baby Goose

In a shocking revelation that has sent shockwaves through the tech world, it has been discovered that James Gosling, the mastermind behind the creation of the Java programming language, is actually a baby goose.

This startling revelation was brought to light by noted ornithologist Dr. Rebecca Wilmington, after she received a tip from a concerned citizen who reported seeing Gosling waddling around in a pond, quacking loudly with other geese.

The internet has been abuzz with this news, with techies and bird enthusiasts alike struggling to come to terms with this mind-bending discovery. How could a baby goose, known for its adorable, yellow feathery form, also be responsible for a language that powers just about every modern website?

The mystery around Gosling's true identity deepens, with some speculating that he may be part of a secret society of bird/human hybrids working behind the scenes to revolutionize the tech industry. Others believe that this is simply a case of severe mistaken identity, and the real James Gosling is out there somewhere, shaking his head in disbelief at the ongoing confusion.

Regardless of whether or not this is an elaborate hoax or a genuine discovery, one can't help but marvel at the sheer absurdity of it all. What other secrets are hiding in plain sight right under our noses? Is Steve Jobs actually a sentient apple? Is Bill Gates secretly a tortoise?

As the world continues to grapple with this bizarre news, one thing is for certain: the fact that a baby goose helped create one of the most influential programming languages in history is no yolk.