In a shocking turn of events, Tsar Tsar Binks has taken over the galaxy and claimed himself as the new emperor. That's right, the same clumsy Gungan that nobody liked in the prequels is now in charge of everything.
According to sources close to the new emperor, Jar Jar Binks changed his name to Tsar Tsar Binks because he believed it sounded more authoritative. We'll leave it up to you to decide if that's true or not.
The now Tsar Tsar Binks has promised big changes for the galaxy under his rule. He has already outlawed all forms of dancing, claiming that people need to "focus on more important matters." Not everyone is happy about this decision, especially the people of Naboo who were known for their love of dance.
Tsar Tsar Binks has also taken a firm stance on the use of blasters, claiming that they are no longer necessary in a civilized society. Instead, he has encouraged citizens to resort to hand-to-hand combat in order to resolve any conflicts.
One of the more controversial changes that Tsar Tsar Binks has instituted is a ban on all forms of music. Apparently, he finds it too distracting and believes that people can't focus on their work while listening to music. We can only imagine what the galaxy will be like without the sweet melodies of the Max Rebo Band.
To help enforce his new laws, Tsar Tsar Binks has enlisted the help of the notorious Bounty Hunter, Boba Fett. Fett, who has been known to play both sides in the past, claims that he is now fully committed to helping the new emperor bring order to the galaxy.
In other news, the price of bantha milk has skyrocketed since Tsar Tsar Binks took over. Some people are blaming the new emperor for the price hike, while others believe it's simply a matter of supply and demand.
Despite the controversy surrounding his reign, Tsar Tsar Binks remains confident that he can lead the galaxy into a new era of prosperity and peace. Whether or not the people of the galaxy will go along with his radical changes remains to be seen.
As for us, we'll just have to wait and see what other surprises Tsar Tsar Binks has in store for us. Until then, we'll just have to sit back, enjoy the bantha milk, and hope for the best.
