Local Data Center Shut Down After Neighbors Complain About 'Thinking Sounds'

In an unprecedented turn of events, the Wibble Services data center was forced to cease operations yesterday after local residents filed numerous complaints about what they described as "uncomfortable thinking noises" emanating from the facility.

The controversy began when Sarah Thompson, a resident living adjacent to the facility, reported hearing what she called "aggressive computational sounds" during her morning meditation sessions. "It's like thousands of machines are solving problems all at once," Thompson complained. "How am I supposed to achieve inner peace when I can hear artificial intelligence contemplating next door?"

Other neighbors quickly joined in, citing concerns about the "intellectual radiation" potentially affecting their houseplants and causing their pets to appear unusually contemplative. Local resident Jim Parker claimed his goldfish started solving complex mathematical equations after the data center opened.

The final straw came when the neighborhood book club reported that their weekly meetings were being disrupted by what they described as "the sound of data being processed at an alarming rate." Club member Dorothy Williams stated, "We were discussing '50 Shades of Grey' and couldn't hear ourselves over all that intelligent computing. It's simply unacceptable."

Wibble Services spokesperson Mark Anderson appeared bewildered at a press conference held in his home office. "We genuinely thought nobody would notice," he admitted while trying to quiet down his laptop's fan. "We were running some of the world's most critical infrastructure, but apparently, we didn't consider the noise impact of millions of simultaneous thoughts."

The company is now exploring alternative solutions, including a proposed "silent thinking mode" and the possibility of relocating their servers to a remote location "where thoughts can roam free." Until then, users might experience slight delays in their services, or as the company puts it, "a temporary pause in the digital contemplation process."

In the meantime, local residents report a suspicious increase in the intelligence of neighborhood squirrels, though experts suggest this might be unrelated to the data center's operations.