Local Man Attempts to Use 'Shazam' App to Summon Superpowers

A man from a small town in Ohio has attempted to use the popular app 'Shazam' to give himself superhuman abilities. In a hilarious turn of events, his experiment has left him with disappointingly normal results.

The man, who wishes to remain anonymous, downloaded the app after hearing rumors that it could be used to summon superpowers. He spent hours trying out different songs and sound effects, but to no avail.

"I thought maybe if I could just find the right sound, I could become superhuman," he explained. "But no matter what I tried, nothing happened."

Undeterred, the man kept trying. He even started creating his own sounds, hoping that they would trigger some sort of transformation.

"I recorded myself yelling 'Spoon!' and played it back into the app, but still nothing," he said.

At one point, the man thought he had found the key to unlocking his powers. He stumbled upon a video on YouTube that claimed to be a recording of a real-life superhero using 'Shazam' to summon lightning.

"I was so excited, I thought I had finally found the answer," he said. "But then I realized the video was just a clip from the movie 'Shazam!', and I felt pretty stupid."

Despite his lack of success, the man remains convinced that 'Shazam' holds the key to unlocking his superhero potential.

"I'm not giving up yet," he said. "I just need to keep trying. Maybe there's a secret sound out there that I haven't found yet."

Experts are warning against attempting to use 'Shazam' for anything other than identifying songs, as there is no scientific basis for the app to bestow superpowers upon its users.

In the meantime, the man says he is going to keep working on his own superhero persona.

"I may not have superpowers, but that doesn't mean I can't be a hero," he said.