Frank Burns, a regular man with an irregular passion, achieved something unthinkable last Sunday. Surrounded by hundreds of queasy spectators, Mr. Burns ravaged his way to the top of the leaderboard by consuming the highest amount of worms in a single sitting, smashing the former world record. The Wibble has exclusive footage of the event - viewer discretion is advised.
The atmosphere was electric as Frank prepared for his momentous feat - the tension palpable as he took his place in front of a sea of onlookers. The air was saturated with the unmistakable stench of decay, leaving a sour taste in the back of many throats. Frank, however, appeared unfazed, staring resolutely at the tray of wriggling creatures in front of him.
The challenge was clear - consume as many worms as possible in 30 minutes, with no opportunity to pause or stop. Frank began with a preternatural focus, slowly consuming one worm at a time as the clock ticked away. Many of the attendees were in awe of his feats. One observer was heard muttering, "He's like a vacuum cleaner!", which elicited chuckles from the surrounding crowd. Others present could not contain their disgust and were seen throwing up in nearby garbage cans.
As the minutes ticked by, Frank began to struggle, the strain evident in his face. He was desperately chewing and gulping down the wriggling creatures as they slithered down his throat. Some onlookers appeared pale and green as they watched in horror as this historical moment unfolded before them.
As the clock struck zero, Frank collapsed, surrounded by a mountain of unsightly goo. Members of the audience swarmed Frank, hugging him and congratulating him on his record-breaking feat. Frank himself looked barely conscious, laying there in a catatonic state, covered in sweat, dirt and worm juice.
With this achievement, Frank Burns joins history books and folklore alike. The worm-eating community erupted into raucous cheers as Frank was carried off into the sunset, bearing his new world record with pride. Mother Nature herself celebrated this win with a mild earthquake the following day that hit several surrounding towns and could be felt as far as the neighboring state.
No one knows if this record will ever be broken, but for one glorious day, Frank Burns was the worm king, devourer of vermin, and champion of the world. Your move, previous world record holder.