Local Man Shocked to Discover 'Help' is Not a Magic Word
John Smith, a resident of the town of Wibble, has had a rude awakening in regards to his grasp on reality. In a shocking turn of events, John has discovered that simply uttering the word 'help' does not magically solve all of his problems.
According to sources close to John, his confusion and frustration started when his car broke down on the side of the road on his way to work. John, who is typically known for being resourceful, found himself at a loss for what to do.
"I was just sitting there, repeating the word 'help' over and over again, waiting for someone to come rescue me," John explained to The Wibble in an interview. "But no one came. It was like the universe had forsaken me."
It wasn't until a kind passerby stopped and suggested he call a tow truck that John realized his mistake. "I was so embarrassed," he admitted. "I had just assumed that saying 'help' would magically summon someone to fix my car or something."
As it turns out, this was not an isolated incident for John. Sources claim that he has been going around town, muttering 'help' under his breath in hopes of conjuring solutions to all his problems.
"I heard him at the grocery store the other day," one resident told us. "He was trying to find a specific brand of cereal, and instead of asking an employee for help, he just kept saying 'help' louder and louder until someone noticed."
John's friends and family are reportedly deeply concerned about his newfound reliance on magical thinking. "We've been trying to get through to him, but he just keeps insisting that if he says 'help' enough times, his problems will disappear," one of his relatives said.
This situation has once again highlighted the importance of taking practical steps towards solving problems, rather than simply hoping for a stroke of luck. As the saying goes, "God helps those who help themselves" - and it seems that truer words have never been spoken.
Regardless, John remains hopeful that one day, he will find the magic solution to all of his problems - and until then, he'll continue muttering 'help' under his breath like a mantra.
