Lucifer's Unorthodox Vision of Paradise: An Interview

'The whole heavenly paradigm needs a shake-up,' Lucifer announced, leaning back in his chair, resplendent in a tailored pinstripe suit. 'I'm done with halos and harps. Blackjack and hookers - that's the future of Heaven.'

The King of Hell is no stranger to controversy, but his latest revelation has caused quite a stir. In an exclusive interview, Lucifer sat down with us to discuss his plans to redefine Heaven, and, as usual, his responses didn't disappoint.

When challenged about the morality of his vision, Lucifer simply shrugged. 'Morality is subjective. Besides, don't tell me you wouldn't enjoy a bit of both?' He winked with mischievous glee, casting an all-knowing gaze that unnerved even the most seasoned journalists.

According to Lucifer, his version of Heaven doesn't require any belief or worship. 'I'm a benevolent dictator. As long as you're fun, you're welcome in my casino of the afterlife.'

Regarding the potential issues with managing the influx of dead souls, Lucifer dismissed them with a wave of his hand. 'Don't worry, my little demons will take care of that - after all, what's Heaven without a little bit of hierarchy?

When asked if Heaven's current resident was aware of this development, Lucifer simply replied, 'Let's just say I don't think the Big Man will be too pleased when he finds out. Think of it as a surprise party – albeit one where the theme is vice.'

So, what are the requirements to gain access to this exclusive afterlife club? 'A sense of humor is a must. And an appetite for fun. Also, make sure to bring a lot of chips – playing with heavenly credit just doesn't have the same thrill.'

Lucifer's final pitch? 'Screw tradition. Join my version of Heaven and never get bored for eternity. After all, who said paradise had to be dull? And oh, did I mention the blackjack and hookers?'

As we finished the interview, Lucifer lit a cigarette and blew a perfectly round smoke ring in the air. 'See you all in My Heaven. No halos required.'