Maximizing your return: A guide to selling your soul

Are you tired of working hard for your money? Do you want to make a quick buck without lifting a finger? Look no further than selling your soul! That's right, with just a simple handshake, you too can sign away eternal damnation for a cushy payout in this life! Don't settle for a subpar deal, though - follow our handy guide to maximize your return.

First off, don't just sell your soul to any old demon who comes knocking. Do your research and find the best deals out there. Look for demons with high ratings on demonic review websites and don't be afraid to negotiate!

Handshake with devil

Now, when it comes to the price of your soul, be sure to get the most bang for your buck. Don't settle for just a few dollars - your soul is worth more than that! Aim for at least a million dollars, but don't be afraid to hold out for more. And make sure you get it all upfront - demons have been known to weasel out of their deals.

Check for selling soul

But be warned, selling your soul doesn't come without its consequences. Sure, you may be living the high life now, but eternal damnation awaits. So be sure to enjoy your money while you can, because you won't have anything to spend it on in the afterlife.

Luxurious mansion with devil

And don't forget, there are other ways to sell your soul besides to a demon. You could sell it to corporations for their nefarious purposes or to politicians for a better chance at success. The possibilities are endless!

Soul sale to corporations and politicians

So there you have it, folks - a guide to selling your soul. Just remember to do your research, negotiate for a fair price, and enjoy your money while you can. And if you ever start to feel guilty about what you've done, just remember - you're not alone. There are plenty of us out there who have sold our souls for a quick buck.