New Study Reveals Shocking Link between Call of Duty and Gen-Z Gamers' Ancestry

Jun 10, 2023, 12:19 PM

A recent study conducted by the Institute of Online Behaviors and Genetic Testing (IOBGT) has revealed a shocking correlation between Call of Duty (CoD) and the ancestry of Gen-Z gamers.

According to the study, 98% of Gen-Z gamers can trace their ancestry back to that one toxic CoD player who claimed he knew all of their moms. Yes, you read that right. All those hours spent playing the popular first-person shooter may have led to toxic online behavior, but they may have also revealed something about their ancestors.

The IOBGT examined the DNA of over 10,000 Gen-Z gamers who identified as CoD players and found that they all shared a common ancestor who was an expert at trash-talking and making inappropriate jokes. The analysis revealed that this ancestor had a genetic mutation that made them prone to toxic behavior, which was later passed down through generations.

While the study's findings have caused quite a stir in the gaming community, many gamers are taking it in stride.

"I always knew I was destined for greatness," said 16-year-old Kyle, who has over 500 hours logged on CoD. "Now I know it's in my genes to be a master trash-talker."

Others are taking a more skeptical approach to the study's findings.

"I mean, yeah, I'll admit I've said some questionable things in the heat of the moment while playing CoD," said 19-year-old Rachel. "But I don't think that means my great-great-great-grandpa was a sexist jerk."

Despite the controversy, the IOBGT is standing by its study and urging Gen-Z gamers to be mindful of their online behavior.

"Your ancestors may have had a genetic predisposition to toxic behavior, but that doesn't mean you have to continue the cycle," said IOBGT spokesperson Dr. Sarah Lee. "We encourage all gamers to play responsibly and treat others with respect."

So the next time you're about to drop a sick burn on an opponent in CoD, just remember that you may be carrying on a long-standing family tradition. And who knows? Maybe one day your great-great-great-grandkids will play CoD and talk trash just like you.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.