Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the year 2022, where strange and eccentric trends are more popular than freshly baked bread on a Sunday morning. Brace yourselves for the newest, and arguably the most delightful (definitely not hygienic though) communication trend: Nose Envelope Piss-tage.
That's right, instead of the conventional method of moistening the seal of an envelope with your saliva, we have evolved (or devolved, depending on how you look at it) to a time when our nasal fluids do the job. A bizarre sight, indeed! In this majestic melody of snot and paper, one's ordinary correspondences transform into an odd display of aquatic acrobatics.
Before you cringe, remember the time when planking was a thing? If the populace can go gaga over lying straight as a board in precarious locations, perhaps 'Nose Piss-tage' doesn't seem as preposterous, does it now?
Now, let's address the obvious question: "why nasal fluids?" Has humanity finally run out of things to invent and improve? In fact, proponents of 'Nose Piss-tage' suggest that nasal fluid is a natural adhesive that seals the envelope in a more secure manner than saliva. The brandishing of a dripping nose over your letter might just ensure that your handwritten note doesn't get lost on its way!
Additionally, it's a lofty display of one's immune system at work. If you can rain down snot onto an envelope without succumbing to a sneezing fit, then congratulations, your immunity is doing the tango with Tony Stark!
Whilst sceptics might be unconvinced and perhaps rightly horrified by this new trend, it's worth noting that evolution has never been one-size-fits-all. One might say that this twist in communication mediums is nothing but an oddball kinfolk of past peculiarities, like disco yoga and extreme ironing.
So, as we delve deeper into this peculiar year of 2022, let's embrace the unpredictable. Let's exchange adventurous glances as we reach for that used tissue paper and wonder aloud, 'Could I make this a 'Nose Piss-tage'? How very chic and avant-garde! Now, off you go, brave conquerors of conformity and pioneers of peculiarity! Let's make 'Nose Envelope Piss-tage' the quirk of the year!
