OpenBSD foundation teams up with McDonald's to launch new Operating System

Jun 30, 2023, 11:22 PM

In a surprising move that some pundits are already dubbing "the merger of the millennium", OpenBSD foundation has joined forces with American fast food giant, McDonald's, to cook up OpenBSDM OS, a new tech recipe that’s set to tantalize taste buds in the world of operating systems.

The partnership was unveiled in a joint press release that disrupted the lunch time routine of tech geeks worldwide, causing a seismic surge of keyboard tappings, and a significant uptick in blogposts on "the future of fries and firewalls". The announcement, however, was swiftly followed by rigorous denial of "rumors that the ‘M’ in OpenBSDM stands for McDonald's", by the somewhat bemused OpenBSD representatives.

McDonald’s, perpetually on the lookout for innovation, decided it was high time they moved beyond the McFlurry of burgers and fries. Their venture into the arcane world of technology is not entirely out of the blue for those familiar with their tech-forward initiatives, including several pilot projects involving robot chefs and AI-driven order kiosks.

OpenBSD foundation, on the other hand, is no stranger to unusual collaborations. Their software is famously known for its robustness, given the tagline "Only two remote holes in the default install, in a heck of a long time!" With this new venture, they look set to capitalize even more on their niche popularity, and the prospect of a Happy Meal-inspired GUI has generated much chatter among devout OpenBSD users.

What exactly will this saucy amalgamation of OpenBSD's robustness and McDonald's pervasive appeal bring to the world of operating systems, you wonder? Is the world finally going to feast on a Happy Meal version of an OS that boasts “built-in firewalls as robust as our Big Mac and security updates more regular than our McFlurrys!”? Only time will tell!

Reports suggest that the initial builds of OpenBSDM will introduce a drive-thru style of software updates. Users can simply "order" updates from a sleek, easy-to-navigate menu and the updates will be automatically “fried” onto their system, ensuring minimal disruption to their workflow or dinner plan.

In a brilliant display of technicolor branding, early screenshots of OpenBSDM showcase vibrant Happy Meal-themed desktop environments with a host of appetizing new features. Users can have simultaneous, yet secured login sessions, now adorably termed as "Family Feasts". The OS also purportedly features an ‘always-on’ digital assistant, whimsically named “McTux”.

But being a well-seasoned security-focused OS provider, OpenBSD made it clear that the funky new look will not compromise on their hardcore security standards. As an OpenBSD representative firmly assured, “We’re mainly about the beef, and by beef, we mean security!”

Enthusiasts eagerly awaiting a first bite of this enticing tech-flavored fast food mashup, brace yourselves! Word in the tech community is that OpenBSDM OS might initially be available only through a ‘Golden Ticket’ hidden in select McDonald's Happy Meals. Techies and Big Mac fans, the hunt is on!

As we eagerly anticipate the arrival of this revolutionary operating system, it reminds us how innovation can truly blur the borders of industries, be it fast food or high-tech. Some might call this an odd pairing, but in the realm of forward-thinking collaborations, it’s fair to say anything is possible. Tech and fast food worlds are officially colliding and it’s going to be delightfully delicious!

Let’s wrap it up here, folks. Literally and figuratively, it seems like OpenBSD and McDonald's are here to serve up a tech feast. So, ready your devices and appetites – a whole new flavor awaits in the world of operating systems!

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.