In a revelation that has now hit the mainstream (and everyone's torsos), the lingerie fashion industry has unveiled their most ambitious yet hitherto little-explored frontier - peekaboo pantaloons. In a move that has left the neutrals scratching their heads, the bold sporting their whimsical expressions, and pyjamas in cold disdain, the world seems newly obsessed with transparent underwear.
In a time when one could hardly distinguish between loungewear and daywear, peekaboo panties have stirred the slumbering beast of fashion morals. They are transparent but not invisible, they reveal while they conceal - they are the 'Schrodinger's cat' of fashion; both naked and dressed at the same time. But why the sudden craze, you ask? The answer, surprisingly, lies not in the irreverent exposure, but a deeply ingrained human instinct - curiosity.
As they say, "curiosity killed the cat", however, we doubt there are too many felines in the human populace to suggest a looming communist fashion revolution. No, the transparent pantaloons, instead, offer a unique chance for society to indulge their inner snoop without having to resort to creepy tactics or, God forbid, engaging in a conversation during a global pandemic.
For those of us more hesitant, meanwhile, the debate continues - this is clearly a fashion risk. It's one thing to buy these audacious undergarments, but it's an entirely different ballgame to parade them around.
Thankfully, the designers behind this trend have thought about everything, and I mean, EVERYTHING. They have included an array of stick-on, fig-leaf sized, non-transparent patches with each purchase. You can now wear your peekaboo pantaloons confidently, knowing very well you can apply patches wherever your decency (or audacity) allows.
Meanwhile, for the environmentally conscious consumers (we're looking at you, gen-Z), the underwear brags of zero paper waste in production. In fact, with absolutely nothing hidden, these pantaloons are the epitome of transparent sourcing.
In the end, while we may not see (quite literally) this trend enduring the cruel seasons of fast-fashion, peekaboo pantaloons are nothing short of a revolutionary stocking-filler this holiday season. Giving the phrase "I see London, I see France, I see someone's underpants" a more literal perspective, these luxuriously ludicrous undies are sure to be the speaking point in many households.
And who knows, this trend might be the key to liberate us from the overbearing societal construct that dictates who and when to undress. After all, the world has seen a lot weirder things in 2020. So, why not lighten the load by bearing it all, albeit in style? Sounds like we've got a cheery, 'cheeky' year ahead!
As they say, "The future is clear!" and well, so it seems is our underwear.