It's the blackout heard 'round the world. Reddit's website went down for a few hours, and in that time, the impossible happened: every modern problem in the world was solved.
Scientists from around the globe managed to find the cure for cancer, AIDS, and all known diseases during Reddit's downtime. It was the breakthrough that they've been struggling to figure out for generations.
But that's not all.
In addition to the cure for every deadly disease, physics has been rewritten, and we've discovered free energy. Yes, you heard that right. Energy that doesn't require any fossil fuels, or even solar panels, just a bit of Reddit black magic.
This newfound energy has aided us in solving the world’s problems: pollution is now irrelevant, and humans can reverse the damage we've done to the planet.
But wait, there's more. During the same span of time, the mystery of time travel was also discovered. Not only can we travel through time, but we can also bend space to our will. The past, present, and future are now in our grasp.
Imagine it, a world where solar storms, disasters, and death as we know it don’t matter because we can freely jump through centuries and timelines.
That's right, dear readers - everything we’ve ever wanted is now possible thanks to Reddit's outage. The platform that brought us gold-sprayed bananas, 'kittens being jerks', and "hold my beer" moments managed to save humanity in a few short hours.
So where do we go from here?
For starters, we need to keep the site down indefinitely. A small price to pay for literally saving the planet. Will our productivity be boundless? Will we be the most advanced civilization in the universe? Who knows. But with our newfound powers, we can only hope to be ready for whatever comes next.
