Refurbished Budget Logitech Controller Blamed for Loss of Submarine Filled with Billionaires

Jun 22, 2023, 7:02 PM

The latest tragedy to grip the world of the ultra-rich involves a fateful decision to use a refurbished budget Logitech game controller to operate a high-tech submarine carrying some of the world's wealthiest individuals. The result? A submarine disaster that has left global elites scrambling for answers and tech companies scrambling for ways to capitalize on their newfound reputations as luxury submarine outfitters.

The submarine, reportedly belonging to a group of Russian billionaires, was on a pleasure cruise in the Arctic Ocean when disaster struck. According to eyewitnesses, the submarine was performing splendidly until someone decided to swap out the original controller for a cheaper refurbished one from Logitech.

Sources say that the refurbished controller had been purchased on a discount from a shady online retailer and was not designed for the complex software that operated the submarine's engines and navigation system. The crew of the submarine, who were all reportedly under the influence of some rather strong vodka, failed to notice the switch and continued on their merry way.

Unfortunately, things quickly went awry. The refurbished controller, unable to keep up with the complex data pathways of the submarine's systems, began to malfunction, causing the vessel to spin out of control.

Panicked attempts to right the sinking vessel only made things worse, and the submarine ended up colliding with an iceberg, causing it to sink to the bottom of the ocean. There were no survivors.

The tragedy has sent shockwaves throughout the global community, and tech companies are already taking advantage of the tragedy to market luxury submarine controllers at exorbitant prices. One manufacturer, SubLux, is touting a $50,000 controller made with solid gold plated connectors and studded with diamonds as the ultimate status symbol for billionaire adventures.

Meanwhile, the families of the deceased billionaires are already planning lawsuits against Logitech, the online retailer of the refurbished controller, and the makers of the submarine for not ensuring that higher quality equipment was used. The search for justice in this tragedy may be long and difficult, but one thing is for sure: next time, the elite may think twice about cutting corners on something as important as their luxurious Arctic submarine adventures.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.