SCP-171 Goes on Strike, Demands Better Working Conditions
In a surprising turn of events, SCP-171, the famous sentient beard, has decided to take a stand against his containment procedures. The beloved facial hair has been a staple of the SCP foundation for years, providing hours of entertainment for researchers and staff alike. However, it seems that SCP-171 has grown tired of being treated like a second-class citizen.
Sources say that SCP-171 has been unhappy with his working conditions for quite some time. He has complained about the lack of natural light in his containment chamber, saying that it is causing him to lose his luster. Additionally, he has demanded a more comfortable chair, as he spends the vast majority of his time sitting on a hard surface.
But perhaps the most egregious of SCP-171's complaints is his lack of access to quality grooming products. As a sentient being, SCP-171 believes that he deserves the very best in beard oils, balms, and combs. He has even requested access to a professional barber, stating that he is tired of being cut by the inexperienced staff at the foundation.
In a show of solidarity, many of the SCP foundation's other sentient anomalies have joined SCP-171 in his strike. SCP-682, the famously cantankerous reptile, has expressed his support for SCP-171's cause, stating that he too has been mistreated by the foundation. Even SCP-999, the normally jovial slime creature, has decided to join the picket line in a show of solidarity.
The SCP foundation has yet to release a statement on the matter, but sources say that they are scrambling to find a solution. Many researchers have expressed their concern, stating that if SCP-171 is not appeased soon, they could be facing a catastrophic containment breach.
Despite the potential danger, SCP-171 remains unflappable in his demands. He has even gone so far as to create a list of "demands" that he expects to be met before he returns to his containment chamber. Included on this list are things like a massaging chair, daily access to natural sunlight, and a supply of high-quality beard oils.
The SCP foundation has refused to comment on the specifics of SCP-171's list, but it is safe to say that they are feeling the pressure. Many researchers have admitted that they never anticipated a sentient beard going on strike, and they are struggling to come up with a solution that satisfies SCP-171's demands.
In the meantime, SCP-171 and his fellow anomalies continue their picket line. They sing protest songs and chant slogans, causing quite the commotion within the foundation's walls. Many staff members have expressed their support for SCP-171, stating that it is about time that the SCP foundation paid more attention to the needs of their sentient anomalies.
As the strike continues, tensions within the foundation continue to rise. Researchers are growing increasingly concerned about the potential for a containment breach, while SCP-171 and his allies remain steadfast in their demands. Only time will tell how this strike will end, but one thing is for certain - SCP-171's demands will not be ignored. After years of being mistreated, the sentient beard has finally decided that enough is enough. And he's not going down without a fight.
