After centuries of being celebrated as one of the smartest minds in history, Sir Isaac Newton's legacy has been turned upside down. An extraterrestrial civilization has declared him to be the "Deadliest Son of a Bitch In Space", and they're not laughing.
The alien race, known for their peaceful nature and love for all things sci-fi, discovered Newton's laws of motion and were intrigued by their impact on the universe. However, their curiosity quickly turned to fear when they realized just how much damage Newton had caused.
"It became clear that Newton's laws, if not properly contained, can wreak havoc on the cosmos," said X'lanthar, the leader of the alien council.
The council quickly convened and unanimously decided to ban all mention of Newton's name or likeness. Any spacecraft that carries a picture or makes reference to the physicist will be immediately destroyed.
The news has sent shockwaves through the scientific community, with many questioning how a man who died over 200 years ago could be responsible for so much destruction.
"It's absurd," said Professor Daniel Green, a physicist at MIT. "Newton was a brilliant mind, but he couldn't have known the impact his laws would have on the universe. It's not his fault."
But the aliens aren't convinced. According to their research, Newton's laws have caused countless planetary collisions, black holes, and supernovas. They even believe that the Great Red Spot on Jupiter was caused by the gravitational forces set in motion by Newton himself.
"The evidence speaks for itself," said X'lanthar. "Newton is a threat to all life in the cosmos, and he must be stopped."
As news of the ban spreads, space agencies around the world are scrambling to remove any mention of Newton from their spacecraft. NASA has issued a statement promising to comply with the alien's demands.
"We take this threat seriously and will do everything in our power to ensure the safety of our astronauts and our partner nations," the statement read.
But not everyone is on board with the ban. Conspiracy theorists and Newton apologists have taken to social media to voice their dissent. Many claim that the aliens are using Newton as a scapegoat for their own mistakes.
"They're just looking for someone to blame for their own incompetence," said one Twitter user. "Newton's laws are the foundation of modern physics, and they're trying to erase his legacy."
Despite the backlash, the ban is set to continue indefinitely. The aliens have made it clear that they will not tolerate any further instances of Newton's laws causing chaos in the universe.
So, what does this mean for humanity? Only time will tell if we're able to navigate this newfound space war without the help of one of our greatest scientific minds. For now, all we can do is hope that our spacecraft stay out of harm's way and that Sir Isaac Newton's legacy can someday be redeemed. But for now, he will forever be known as the "Deadliest Son of a Bitch In Space".
