In a stunning turn of events, a small-town grocer was arrested yesterday for selling what authorities are calling "patriotic produce." The fruits and vegetables in question, which only came in red, green, and white, were being sold under the guise of a summer sale.
The grocer, who has not yet been identified, was taken into custody after an undercover agent discovered the produce. Authorities suspect that the grocer was trying to make a political statement, but were unable to determine their exact message.
Residents of the town are understandably shocked by the news. "I had no idea that my tomatoes could be politically charged," said one resident. "What other hidden messages could be lurking in my produce?"
But some residents are seeing the humor in the situation. "I mean, I guess it's a creative way to make a statement," said another resident. "But maybe they should have gone with something a little less obvious."
In the meantime, the grocer remains in custody and is expected to face charges of food tampering and political subterfuge. The fate of the patriotic produce, however, remains uncertain.
Perhaps the real question on everyone's mind is: what will happen to all of the patriotic produce? Will it be incinerated? Donated to a food bank? Used as evidence in the grocer's trial?
Whatever its fate, one thing is clear: the small town grocer has certainly left their mark on the produce aisle. And who knows? Maybe this is just the start of a new culinary movement. We could soon be seeing "liberal lettuce" and "conservative carrots" lining the shelves of our grocery stores.
But for now, we'll just have to stick to good old-fashioned fruits and vegetables. And maybe keep an eye out for any suspicious colors.