Socrates Confesses Ignorance Yet Again

Athens, Greece - In a shocking turn of events, Socrates, the revered philosopher, has once again declared his lack of knowledge on all things. This admission has caused an uproar among his followers and peers, who now question whether Socrates is a fraud.

"I know that I am intelligent because I know that I know nothing," Socrates stated in his latest speech at the agora. But the people of Athens are not buying it this time.

"He's been saying that for years!" exclaimed Aristophanes, a prominent playwright. "How can he still claim to know nothing? It's ridiculous!"

Many are beginning to speculate that Socrates' admission of ignorance is simply a ruse to avoid answering difficult questions. Some have even accused him of using this tactic to manipulate his followers.

"He just wants us to think he's wise when really he's just avoiding the tough questions," said Plato, a former student of Socrates.

Despite the backlash, Socrates maintains his stance. "I cannot teach anybody anything, I can only make them think," he argued. "If people can think for themselves, they will realize the truth. And the truth is, I know nothing."

His loyal followers continue to stand by him, calling his philosophy "revolutionary" and "the key to unlocking true knowledge."

But not everyone is convinced. "I think he's just trying to be edgy and different," said Xenophon, a historian. "He's like the Gwyneth Paltrow of ancient Greece."

It remains to be seen whether Socrates' popularity will suffer as a result of this latest declaration. One thing is for sure, though: he's not getting any smarter.