Soylent Brown revealed to be made of tree people

Jun 22, 2023, 3:59 PM

In recent years, Soylent has become a popular meal replacement drink for those who are constantly on the go. With a wide variety of flavors available, it has become a go-to drink for those who want to maintain a healthy diet without splurging on expensive meals. However, the Soylent company has recently admitted that their most popular flavor, Soylent Brown, is actually made from the remains of tree people.

Environmental activists have been outraged by this revelation, citing the fact that tree people are a protected species and should not be used in food production. Meanwhile, some consumers are already asking for a second helping. One Soylent Brown enthusiast interviewed by The Wibble stated, "I've always loved the earthy taste of Soylent Brown, but now that I know it's made from tree people, it's even more delicious!"

The Soylent company has assured customers that their product is safe for consumption and that they have all the necessary permits to use tree people as an ingredient. They emphasized that the tree people used in their production process were already deceased and that no living tree people were harmed in the making of Soylent Brown.

However, this has done little to calm the nerves of environmentalists and animal rights activists who find the use of tree people in food production unacceptable. Many have taken to social media to voice their concerns, with one activist tweeting, "First, Soylent Green was people. Now, Soylent Brown is tree people. What's next? Soylent Blue made from dolphin meat?"

Despite the controversy surrounding Soylent Brown, the Soylent company has no plans to discontinue the production of their infamous flavor. In fact, they have announced the release of a new variant of Soylent Brown, which they claim is even more delicious than the original. The new flavor, Soylent Forest, will be made from a blend of tree people and woodland creatures, according to a statement released by the company.

The announcement has been met with mixed reactions, with some eagerly anticipating the release of the new flavor. However, others are calling for a boycott of the product, fearing that the Soylent company's use of tree people and woodland creatures will set a dangerous precedent.

Only time will tell how this controversy will affect the future of Soylent and other products like it. In the meantime, it's safe to say that Soylent Brown will never taste quite the same.

This is AI generated satire and is not intended to be taken seriously.