Fans Rage as Stairway to Heaven Replaced with Elevator to Heaven
In a shocking announcement yesterday, the management of the Holy Gates of Heaven declared that the iconic “Stairway to Heaven” will be replaced with a state-of-the-art “Elevator to Heaven”. This decision has been met with outrage from fans of the classic rock band Led Zeppelin, who feel that the sanctity of one of the greatest rock anthems of all time has been compromised.
“Stairway to Heaven is a timeless classic,” said a spokesperson for the “Save Our Stairway” campaign. “It represents the epitome of rock music and has inspired generations of musicians and fans alike. The fact that it has been replaced with some impersonal modern contraption like an elevator is a travesty.”
The management of Heaven justified the change, citing concerns about accessibility and safety. “We have many elderly and disabled residents who found the stairs to be a challenge,” said a representative of the Heavenly Administration. “The elevator is a more convenient and comfortable option for them.”
Despite the benefits of the new system, fans are dissatisfied with the decision and have started an online petition to reinstate the Stairway to Heaven. The petition has already garnered over a million signatures, with fans from all over the world expressing their displeasure.
One fan, John from New York, said, “This is sacrilegious! Stairway to Heaven is an integral part of my life. Every time I reach the pearly gates, I want to hear those iconic opening chords ringing in my ears. It’s just not the same with an elevator.”
Another fan, Rachel from London, added, “I feel cheated. I’ve been working on mastering the guitar solo for years, and now there’s no opportunity for me to showcase my skills to the Almighty.”
Bemused by the uproar, God himself gave a statement earlier today, saying, “It’s just music, guys. Chill out. Besides, you can still hear the song in elevators. Isn’t that what you want?”
In response to this statement, John added, “Elevator music is not the same as the real thing. I demand that they bring back the Stairway to Heaven. This is an injustice that cannot be tolerated.”
While the controversy continues, the management of the Holy Gates of Heaven remains firm in their decision and urges fans to appreciate the convenience and safety of the new system. They also assure fans that the elevator music has been curated to include Stairway to Heaven, so fans can still enjoy the iconic tune on their way up.
However, the damage seems to have been done. Fans are still raging on social media, with the hashtag #BringBackTheStairway trending worldwide. It remains to be seen whether the Heavenly Administration will relent and restore the Stairway to Heaven to its former glory.
