Ever get bored with breathing plain old oxygen? Looking for a way to mix up your air intake and spice up your life? Well, you're in luck, because we've got the top 10 alternative breathing methods right here for you.
Carbon Dioxide: Let's start with an easy one. Why breathe in life-giving oxygen when you can inhale harmful carbon dioxide instead? Not only will it make you dizzy and disoriented, but it's also a great way to destroy the planet.
Helium: Who needs oxygen when you can talk like a chipmunk instead? Helium is a fun and harmless alternative to breathing in life-giving air. Just make sure not to inhale too much or you might pass out.
Nitrous Oxide: Better known as laughing gas, nitrous oxide is a great way to get high while also depriving yourself of much-needed oxygen. Just make sure not to operate heavy machinery while under its influence.
Chlorine Gas: Who needs oxygen when you can inhale the suffocating fumes of chlorine gas instead? Not only will it make you light-headed and dizzy, but it's also a great way to kill bacteria and other unwanted organisms.
Methane: Why breathe in fresh air when you can inhale the noxious fumes of methane instead? Not only will it make you nauseous and lightheaded, but it's also a great way to contribute to climate change.
Cigarette Smoke: Who needs oxygen when you can inhale the toxic fumes of cigarette smoke instead? Not only will it make you smell bad and damage your health, but it's also a great way to look cool and edgy.
Hydrogen: Why breathe in life-giving oxygen when you can inhale explosive hydrogen gas instead? Not only will it make you light-headed and disoriented, but it's also a great way to blow stuff up.
Sulfur Dioxide: Who needs oxygen when you can inhale the noxious fumes of sulfur dioxide instead? Not only will it make you cough and choke, but it's also a great way to create acid rain and damage the environment.
Methanol: Why breathe in fresh air when you can inhale the toxic fumes of methanol instead? Not only will it make you dizzy and disoriented, but it's also a great way to damage your liver and other organs.
Mustard Gas: Who needs oxygen when you can inhale the deadly fumes of mustard gas instead? Not only will it make you cough and choke, but it's also a great way to kill your enemies in a war.
So there you have it, folks. The top 10 alternatives to breathing oxygen. Just remember, some of these methods may be hazardous to your health and the health of those around you. Use at your own risk.