Thai PM Masters ‘Disaster Diplomacy’ by Surfing Floodwaters in Flip-Flops
As floodwaters submerged entire neighborhoods in Bangkok this week, Prime Minister Srettha Thavisin unveiled his unconventional crisis management strategy: riding a neon-green surfboard through waist-deep water while shouting, “This is how we flow with the problem!”
Eyewitnesses reported seeing the PM execute a “crisp cutback” around a stranded food cart before ollieing over a submerged traffic cone. “It’s about balance,” he later told reporters, still dripping. “If you panic, you wipe out. If you stay chill, you become one with the… uh… aqueous governance paradigm.”
The government has since rebranded the disaster response as Operation Tsunami Lite™, featuring a new line of flood-themed merchandise, including “I Survived the PM’s Surf Safari” T-shirts. Critics argue the stunt undermines relief efforts, but Thavisin insists his approach is “data-driven,” citing a 300% spike in TikTok views of him nose-riding past flooded 7-Elevens.
When pressed about displaced families, Thavisin unveiled Phase Two: deploying jet skis to rescue citizens. “Why use boats when we can go vroom-vroom?” he said, revving an engine ominously. Meanwhile, Thailand’s Meteorology Department has begun issuing surf forecasts alongside flood warnings.
As the nation braces for more rain, one thing is clear: this crisis will be shredded—or shredded.