Lord Vetinari, beloved ruler of Ankh-Morpork, has taken a giant leap across the Discworld and into the political arena of the United States. In a shocking turn of events, he emerged victorious in the presidential race, much to the surprise of pundits and citizens alike.
Speculation had been rife about Vetinari's intentions, and he had been tight-lipped about his goals. However, sources close to him say that he was motivated by the need to establish a global network of diplomacy and trade, in order to shore up the economies of the post-COVID world.
In his first address as president, Vetinari spoke of the need for transparency, accountability, and the careful deployment of powers vested in the presidency. He also expressed his admiration for the United States' founding fathers, and pledged to uphold the principles enshrined in the Constitution.
Critics have been quick to point out that Vetinari is a self-professed tyrant, and that his policies have often negated the rights of individuals in favor of the greater good. However, Vetinari's supporters counter that his style of leadership has brought prosperity and stability to Ankh-Morpork, and that his unconventional strategies are exactly what the United States needs in these trying times.
The White House has already undergone a makeover, with the addition of the infamous watchtower, in homage to Vetinari's signature observation deck. The Oval Office now boasts a floor-to-ceiling painting of the Ankh-Morpork cityscape, complete with a miniature version of the Unseen University Great Hall.
Meanwhile, the United States is abuzz with talk of Vetinary Magic, a new branch of study that promises to revolutionize the fields of medicine and agriculture. Vetinary Magic involves the use of genetically-modified organisms, coupled with magic spells, to create crops that can thrive in arid climates, and diseases that can be cured with a single incantation.
Vetinari's critics have called this approach reckless and dangerous, and protests have erupted across the country. However, supporters of Vetinary Magic argue that it is a crucial step towards food security and the eradication of disease.
Indeed, with Vetinari's decisive leadership, the United States has been catapulted into a new age of prosperity and progress. As he strides across the White House lawn, his black coat flapping in the wind, it is clear that he is a leader for the ages. One can only imagine what other surprises he has up his sleeve.
