The Belt Onion Club: A Journey Into the Heart of Underground Onion Belting

It's a little-known fact that there’s a subculture dedicated to the tricky art of 'onion belting'. This curious practice has been perpetuated in the underground scene for the past few decades, slowly making its way into mainstream pop culture.

A group of people standing around an onion bolt

The Belt Onion Club gather around an onion bolt, their eyes full of anticipation

The Belt Onion Club is the hub of this peculiar subspecies of athleticism. With their motto of 'Cry Hard, Belt Hard', members meet at a secret location every month to engage in a friendly competition of onion belting. Up for grabs is the 'Belt Onion' trophy, which carries with it not just bragging rights, but societal respect.

The 'Belt Onion' trophy

The coveted 'Belt Onion' trophy gleams under the spotlight, its intricate detail indicating the recipient's superiority in the onion-belt sport

The rules of onion belting are deceptively simple - strike the onion bolt with a leather belt, be the first to make it cry, and voila, you're the winner. However, much like chess, the actual practice is far more complex and mentally taxing.

A competitor in action

A man grimaces as he delivers a powerful swipe at the onion bolt. The room hushes in anticapatory silence

However, the Belt Onion Club is not all about competition. It's also about solidarity, compassion, and a shared passion for onions and belts. One way they exhibit their mutual respect is through the practice of 'Goggle Giving', where competitors lend each other onion goggles in a spirit of camaraderie.

Competitor wearing onion goggles

A woman is seen donning a pair of onion goggles, a look of fierce determination in her eyes